5 scary things about becoming minimal

scary-things

Although minimalism is gaining popularity, it still feels like a huge leap away in my world. I’m nowhere near living the minimal lifestyle that I admire in some of the books and blogs I read, but to go much further than I am now, I would have to make some changes that might be uncomfortable.

Here are some of the things that scare me about becoming minimal:

1. I won’t fit in

I’ve always felt socially awkward, but peer pressure doesn’t impact me like it used to and I like being different most of the time, so I’m not sure why fitting in with those around me matters at this point in my life as I make changes from the norm. But it does.

The last thing I want is to remove myself from the people around us. Family and friends are important to me, so I want to be careful about excluding myself from traditions that don’t always agree with what I’m trying to achieve. I’ve participated in many holiday gift exchanges to avoid looking like a Scrooge and bought fundraising items I didn’t need for the sake of being supportive. I know there are other ways to nurture these relationships, so that should be my focus instead.

Also, the more I recycle, the harder it is to watch recyclables be thrown away. I sometimes sneak two-liter bottles out of the garbage after a potluck or take disposable containers home from fast food restaurants to recycle. I’ve taken my own container to the donut shop to avoid coming home with a greasy box that can’t be recycled. This embarrasses my family and sometimes me depending on how brave I feel at the moment.

So how do I stay true to my beliefs without being considered rude or strange? I’m not sure yet but I realize I’m not being true to myself each time I go along with something just to blend in, so maybe that’s a start.

2. My kids won’t fit in

Nothing makes you more aware of all your quirky habits than parenthood. There are measurable milestones at every stage of your child’s life that make you question if your household is normal. I think everyone can relate to feeling left out, but it’s definitely a feeling we try to protect our kids from.

It’s easy to believe that fitting in requires stuff, like the right kind of clothes, the latest electronics, or the season’s hottest toys. Kids tend to want what their friends have, so efforts to instill minimal habits can be met with a lot of resistance at almost any age.

I try to encourage minimal habits by example and give my kids freedom to make their own choices when possible, at least in theory. It’s easier said than done! Imposing my idealistic view of how things should be is a certain guarantee that the opposite will happen, especially with my daughter : ) The goal is to not make my kids resentful of a lifestyle I want to encourage.

Gradual changes are working best with my family for now. If I made major changes to how we celebrate Christmas for example, it would be too different from how everyone around us celebrates and would make a joyful occasion stressful.

Subtle shifts from our current traditions will hopefully be rewarding enough to help us break free from old habits that no longer make sense. For instance, I hope an idea will hit for a really good Christmas tree alternative before December. This tradition has lost its appeal to me, but I’ll still do it for the kids.

3. I won’t have what I need

Next to the water heater in my garage sits a cute picnic basket packed with plastic cups, plates, and silverware. It was a wedding shower gift and has accompanied us on three moves, been stored in several different closets, and has never been used. It’s too big to fit on the garage shelves and I know we don’t need it, but as soon as I get rid of it, that picnic opportunity I’ve waited 20 years for will present itself.

It’s not just the picnic basket, it’s also two bicycles that sit in disrepair, gardening supplies from completed projects, special bakeware for recipes that I’ve made only once, and many other things that rarely if ever get used. I’m definitely not a hoarder, but I’m tight and the thought of spending money again on something I already bought but got rid of keeps this unused stuff around.

Maybe as I get my nerve up to get rid of the stuff we don’t really need, I will have time to take that picnic because I won’t be spending my spare time trying to maintain and shuffle all our stuff around.

4. I will get bored

If I don’t have anything to buy, store, maintain, or clean, then what on earth am I gonna do? Funny thought I know but getting to this extreme point is impossible because we need to have some degree of stuff after all. I’ve never been much of an outdoor person either because taking care of stuff has kept me inside for so long.

But seriously, the fear of being bored keeps me from parting with a lot of stuff like a large collection of movies, books, and board games for our family. There needs to be supplies at the ready to start a project in the off chance I get some free time because I feel like I’m not being productive if I’m not working on something.

I’m so accustomed to being occupied that I have a hard time relaxing when free time finally comes. Sitting still is something that I have bragged about not being able to do, which is silly when I think about it.

It seems impossible to have a hobby or do an activity that doesn’t require a bunch of supplies or equipment. Years of conditioning from the world in which we live has given me a strong desire for a lot of stuff. On the other hand, years of tending to and being distracted by all this stuff has also given me a strong urge to see what life would be like without wanting, needing, or having so much of it.

5. I won’t attract abundance

I believe in the law of attraction, and like anyone else, want to experience the finer things in life. My absolute favorite book is The Secret of the Ages: In Seven Volumes (Complete) by Robert Collier. I’ve read it every fall for five years now because it resets my attitude and makes me feel like anything is possible.

So if I start thinking minimally, will I limit the flow of abundance in my life? I know that what I really need is to shift my focus from attracting things I want to attracting experiences I want. This is challenging when I’m bombarded by opposing messages on a daily basis.

The idea of attracting abundance can work for things like good health, relationships, and experiences just as much as it can mean attracting physical objects. It’s fine for me to want material things too as long as I don’t let them weigh me down.

I am so conditioned to want things though, and I’m starting to see that if I want to attract amazing experiences, there’s no room for them if I’m surrounded by too much stuff. If I limit the amount of stuff in my life, I’ll hopefully save enough money to live in Maui one day and it will make my move a lot easier!

After my husband and I left our jobs to become entrepreneurs, we realized that good things often wait for you on the other side of your comfort zone. It was a risky move, and eight years later, neither one of us regret it. So all fears aside, I’m ready to take the plunge and see what’s on the other side of all my stuff.

How about you? Can you relate to some of these fears? Is your desire to become minimal strong enough to shake things up a bit and leave the security of old thoughts and traditions to see what this new lifestyle has in store for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

 

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10 thoughts on “5 scary things about becoming minimal”

  1. Coming to you from Miss Minimalist. As someone who has had to move continent 2 times in the last few years and out of necessity furnished and then donated 2 large apartments worth of furniture and ‘stuff’ I would advise you to donate the picnic set! I know it’s hard to let go of nice things, especially gifts, but if they are never used isn’t that rather a pity? I rationalize donating items by being happy that someone else will really enjoy them, that a charity will make some money, and that I will really appreciate the clear space.

    Thanks for blogging, I’m really enjoying looking around!

  2. Hi Linda, thank you for visiting and I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! That is a great way to look at letting go of something you’re hesitant to. I would much rather someone else get pleasure from something that is collecting dust and likely to be unusable by the time I get around to using it. I like your perspective 🙂

  3. Hi Shelley

    I’ve also hopped over from Miss Minimalist.

    I totally agree with Linda’s comments. I try and think of someone who would find joy in my unused possessions and this approach also seems to work with my children. The “little girl who has hardly any toys would really enjoy having the ones you no longer play with” somehow seems to really resonate with them.

    Great blog and great post on real life minimalists.

    Helen

  4. Thank you Helen, I appreciate your kind words! Letting go of things does become easier when you think of all the good they could do for others, and it’s a positive message to teach our kids too!

  5. I would love to hear your thoughts/successes/failures on converting your family, no matter how small. I am really, really struggling with my husband’s and son’s attachment to their stuff they have not even looked at in years. And years. And years. Sigh.

  6. Hi Lisa! I know that the picnic basket is probably really adorable and really nice and the envision of you and your family out on a green field enjoying a meal from this perfect basket seems too idealistic to let it go, but on the day of the picnic no one will care about what the basket looks like. If you get rid of it you can still throw your pic nic stuff and snacks on a back pack (also much easier to transport in case you’re biking or hiking there). Being resourceful is also fun. The aesthetics of things around us barely ever make the experiences (maybe when the experience is about how good things or look). So don’t worry about keeping things that specific, I make so many picnics and I would dread having to carry such a bulku thing instead of just carrying it on my backpack. Best of luck for your blog! Ana

  7. Hi Stacy, thanks for reading! It is a challenge and each family member responds differently to my decluttering efforts. A lot of patience and persistence helps and I wish you luck!

  8. Hi Ana, I love the idea of using a backpack instead of a picnic basket and had never considered that before. Brilliant! Thanks for reading!

  9. Thanks for sharing this. I have the same dilemma too. The moment I donate it, that is when I need the donated item. *SIGH*

  10. Hi Elaine, thanks for reading! Good luck on minimizing. I look forward to the being at the point of having just the right amount of stuff as well!

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